"I'm A Biochemist"

When did we become so drained? So empty? Scrambling for scraps of some elusive feeling, any feeling. I feel that as we are channeled down this funnel of specialization, we are losing something. All our lives we are told that there is one path to happiness and that path is success and the road to success is hard work.

Story of my life: I got my straight A's in PMR and I went to the Science stream like any self-respecting student does, I got my A's in all my sciences doing especially well in Biology, I went to IB and excelled at Biology and Chemistry and so I applied to Oxford to do Biochemistry. It seems so logical. That's exactly it isn't it? Seems logical - one day you wake up and you realise that everything in your life has been logical, right, structured... scripted.

I thought university was meant to diversify us but instead its turning us all into... specialists. And I say that like its a bad thing, though its probably not. Our capitalist economy requires specialisation to thrive and survive. In essence I suppose it is a kind of specialization so perhaps I should say, I thought university would diversify me. But here I am, surrounded by 3 textbooks on immunology staring at an essay of the same topic having come from a lecture on exactly that. And 4 hours later, here I will be.

All I'm saying is that I've never felt more diversified than when I was in high school doing dance and bead-making and amateur photography and playing football of all things, when I could speak (relatively) intelligently on all things instead of just the life cycle of bacteria. I thought being able to say "I'm a biochemist." would be the best thing ever... but its not when its the only thing you can say. Maybe it'd be better to be a Buddhist monk/ adventure travel writer or play in a punk band for children, to quote HIMYM.

What's the point? Maybe I'm jaded, maybe I'm bored, maybe I need to keep working on my Spanish, maybe I need to try another different thing for the summer, maybe I need to stop feeling early panic for finals in 5 months and for the future and the question "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE?"

But I'm just thinking aloud really.