The Break-Up Survival Guide Pt. 2

Denial - He/ She's coming back

You're in that stage where you're thinking "It's ok. It's only temporary. He/She'll come round." You keep fantasizing about how things will be better than ever after this because they'll realize they just can't live without you. You do your hair the way they’d like it, you put on that perfume/ aftershave cause he/she loved the smell and when you go out you think, "Hey he/she'd love this restaurant." or "That would make a great present for our anniversary." Every time the phone rings or a message is received –SMS/ Facebook/ Friendster/ e-mail/ whatever- you look at that little number and you hope it's them calling to apologize to say, "I'm sorry it was a mistake."

In fact you don't even really tell anyone for a while because you're so sure that this won't last, like how could it? For me, I didn't tell my mum or my dad or even my sister. I didn't talk about it except on my blog. And even then it took me ages to call him my “ex”. Sadly, for the most part, it won't be him/her calling and they don't care how that shirt looks on you anymore or that you’re wearing their favourite perfume/aftershave. Denial is comforting but all it is, is denial and the longer you spend wishing and dreaming, the longer it'll take for you to recover. I know because I spent ages over this. So what do you do?

Purge.

1. Get rid of every thing that reminds you of them. Delete the mushy SMS-es and e-mails. Heck, delete their number while you’re at it. Take them off FB so you don't Facebook stalk them because frankly that is creepy. Take them off MSN so you don't obsess over their personal message. It’ll make you feel better seriously. Being updated on their latest wall post or profile update or relationship status will NOT help you.

2. Pictures, gifts, cards and letters, any memorabilia - take it and stuff it in a box and shove it to the back of your closet. For me, I like keeping the memorabilia because hell, this was a big part of my life, a rather enjoyable one and in the future, I’d like to remember it. But for the time being, getting dogged by memories every time you step into your room is not constructive. So box it. Or, if he/she was really bad, burn it. Get some friends to do it with you. Could be fun. (Sounds sadistic I know but it is therapeutic because actually physically removing him from your life will help you disengage emotionally)

3. Stop listening to songs that remind you of them. Try something else, I recommend:

Without You - Hinder

Over You - Chris Daughtry

No Good - Kate Vogele

... for the more modern ones

 

Tainted Love - Soft Cell

You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi

... for something more old school

 

Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood

Picture to Burn - Taylor Swift

Get Over Yourself - Shedaisey

... for something more country

 

I'm Moving On - Rascall Flatts

... for something realll mellow and less angry

 

The Best You Never Had - Leona Lewis

Gotta Get Over You - Aslyn

... for something more pop-ish

Don't you love how I have a song from almost every genre? It's under the playlist 'Screw You'

4. Change your look. I'm not saying totally reinvent yourself as punk or goth or bimbo (hee… bimbo, HI… sorry) or whatever. Just make a small change. For me, I curled my hair. That was utterly disastrous but hey, I did stop remembering how much he liked my straight hair when I looked at myself in the mirror. At the very least, my disastrous poodle hair gave me something else to think about ie. I LOOK LIKE A FREAKING POODLE

See.... seee???

5. Distract yourself. Go out with friends, catch that movie, read that book. Something funny, something silly - nothing that requires much depth of thought or emotion. I watched Madagascar 2 =D (I love the penguins and Mort the crazy hyper lemur: "TRALALALA. HAHAHAHA. Why am I laughing??? HAHAHA." - you'd have to watch to understand) Basically it's hard to feel sad when everyone around you is laughing. Or take up a new hobby or a new sport if you like. Anything to stop you sitting around in front of the TV moping over chick flicks and drama series.

Start out small before you start tackling the big issues. Little changes are important for you to gradually (very very veryy gradually) accept one of the biggest upheavals of your life.

Confession # 52: I forgot to type in Confession #51. Did anyone notice? Which coincidentally was: I seem to be forgetting everything